Comparisons...

The beginning of a new relationship can be exciting, adventurous and all together fun. After the first few weeks, or months, or even years (depending on the relationship) people start to get to know each other more and more everyday, and while we are learning about each other, we need to understand that every person and every relationship is different. The factors involved in the relationship are different, the backgrounds of the people involved are different, and the day to day interactions are different. This is just the fact of life.

That said, one thing that can be difficult in a new relationship is when the partners compare the other to past relationships (or ex's). Whether one is intentionally doing it, or unintentionally, the action itself can be devastating. Similiar to comparing stores.... have you ever walked into a chain store that is not your 'regular' store? While, the merchandise they carry is pretty much the same, the layout, or quantity, or selection may vary slightly... and you start to think of why or how you like the other one better. Or you walk in completely expecting the 'pharmacy' to be to your right, so you walk the entire right hand length of the store, until you finally realize that it is in the back, or to the left, or maybe this one doesn't have a pharmacy at all... it can be frustrating! Its not just me that does this right?

Whether you are comparing the good or the bad of a relationship, i feel that the comparison factor in general is a bad idea. "My ex used to 'blank' for me" or "My ex would never do that" or just talking about your 'ex' to often can be a bad sign for your partner. When you start to compare your partner, they begin to think that they are not good enough, or this relationship is not good enough, or some parts of this relationship are not good enough, but some might be better... All in all, its just probably not a great idea.

Maybe, its just that one person reads into it to much, or has concerns, or fears that they don't fill the shoes the way they wish they could. Perhaps they just need reassurance that the ways they are feeling are unfounded, and that they do not need to feel that way. Perhaps if they were already getting those reassurances, they wouldn't feel "compared" in the first place?? Well, I suppose only time will tell... and the reality of it all will set in.

Another Random Rant.... complete.

Lonely Thoughts?

You ever think strange thoughts when you're lonely? I do, obviously, or why would I be writing a blog called lonely thoughts?

So, these thoughts, when I am lonely, I don't really mean sitting somewhere alone, with no one else around... of course, i mean the deep emotional heart aching longing for companionship kind of "lonely". When you want someone to want to be around you so much, that you don't even know how to think about anything else?

I do this all to often, unfortunately. It is not so much that I want to be in a "relationship", or want to have a "partner/spouse/boyfriend/etc", just that I want someone to want to be with me, around me, and/or all about me! I guess I just feel that there is a human desire, or need, to have mutual companionship and caring in one's life.

Obviously, there is some reason (or many) that I am not in a relationship, or have this type of full time companionship, and I guess some of that could be construed as my fault... I suppose, but really, being in a "bad relationship" is about the same as being in "no relationship' if not worse. So I have to deal with this one way or another... Pro's and Con's, I suppose. :(

So... Here are today's "lonely thoughts":

Do you suppose its true that there is "one" person out there for everyone? And if so, where are they? Who are they? and how are you supposed to know if you find them... what if you have already found them, and you look right past them and didn't even realize they were the "one"? Seriously, I mean, I don't think this is supposed to be this complicated? But it is!?!? I think? What if you find the "one", and realize that they weren't the one, does that mean that you're done? There are no more out there for you, sorry, had your chance... you lose! Game over?

I know everyone has had these thoughts at some point or another... or at least I hope so, maybe I am the only one, in which case, I feel like nut job right now, and i apologize for wasting your time on my silly antics!

But seriously, I suppose that it is just my emotions coming out for a joy ride today, or perhaps it is something deeper that stems from this longing desire for companionship in my life, but, then again, maybe I am just silly, and have no idea what the heck I am talking about, and should just shut up now!?!? OK.

Well, that's my rant!

:)