OK... so this is an article from Maxim, and I loved it so much, i started my own Blog page... and had to post this... hope you find it as on point as i did! and if you did... maybe you should be calling me... LOL... Well, hope it helps some of the Pansy guys out there... and I hope it helps you women realize that there are others out there just like YOU!!!
Necessary Roughness!Recently, a girlfriend was telling me about the best sex of her life. Did her story involve a roaring fire and strawberries soaked in champagne? Hours of foreplay with her boyfriend lightly kissing her kneecaps while Josh Groban played in the background? Not exactly. Instead, it went something like this: After heavy flirtations at a party, she and her guy had just walked through the doorway of her apartment when he suddenly grabbed her from behind and told her how hot she was. Bending her over a hall table, he hiked up her miniskirt, yanked her panties down, and went at her. It was feverish, gruff, dirty—and a huge turn-on. She said it only took five minutes before they both collapsed in a satisfied heap on the floor. Based on my own experiences, I can’t say I was surprised. And in talking with other women, I’ve recognized a trend. For years men have been conditioned by bullshit gurus like Dr. Phil and books like The Sensitive Guy’s Guide to Sensitive Love to get in touch with their gentler, more romantic side in the bedroom—or, more accurately, to get in touch with ours. But somewhere along the way (maybe around the same time men started showing up at our salons for biweekly waxes), attentive sex morphed into...wimpy sex. Last February one Seattle woman got so fed up with all the sexual kowtowing that she resorted to posting an angry rant on Craigslist that was picked up by dozens of blogs and viewed by thousands. The title: “Just fucking fuck me, already.” A sample line: “We’ve been kissing for a half-hour and your hand keeps grazing my ass. That’s nice, but it’s time to move forward. Get on top of me.”The ultimate truth:Every now and then, what women want in bed is for our men to be men. That is, rather than spending five minutes breathing on our earlobes, waiting for us to guide your mouth elsewhere, be decisive; take control. Of course, there’s a way to be aggressive that’s incredibly sexy and a way to do it that’s creepy and terrifying. In the name of bringing maximum pleasure to her and minimum jail time to you, I’m going to teach you the sexy way—with the help of an army of women all clamoring for a return of the manly man.What’s Love Got to Do With It? The first thing to understand about rough sex is that it isn’t really rough; it’s passionate. The subtext is that we’re so unbelievably sexy that you have to take us however, whenever, and wherever you want. After all, the hottest sex is rarely sweet—it’s primal and animalistic. And while romance certainly has its place in the bedroom, elaborate stabs at it can sometimes come off as strained or even silly. “After a day of exchanging dirty e-mails, my boyfriend called to tell me he couldn’t wait for me to get home that night,” says Carly*, a 28-year-old grant writer. “I expected him to attack me the second I walked through the door, but instead I found him waiting in the bedroom with about 30 candles lit. He handed me a glass of wine—rosé, no less—and then proceeded to strum his guitar and sing a song he’d written for me. I prayed I was having some kind of waking nightmare, but no. It was real.” Even when it comes to what you ask of us in the bedroom, we secretly hope your base desire is for the fast and furious over the slow and soft. “I once asked my boyfriend what his favorite thing was that I did sexually,” says Audrey, a 27-year-old copy editor. “He said, ‘I love the way you hold me.’ He might as well have tucked his junk between his legs while he was saying it.”When it comes to turning her on, sometimes a display of raw aggression can go much further than gauzy romance. “It’s my boyfriend’s attitude during rougher sex that turns me on the most,” says Charlotte, a 31-year-old fashion buyer. “He’s more demanding, he flips me around in different positions, he talks dirty. The whole thing is so different from his usual sweet demeanor that I love it.” As with borscht-belt humor, the key here is all in the delivery. When tossing your girl around like she’s a rag doll, don’t ask permission. “Turn over so I can look at your ass while we do it” is a far cry from “Honeybear, would you mind turning on your tummy so we can do it from behind, please?” But don’t try taking the same liberties outside the sexual arena. Suddenly bossing your woman around the Piggly Wiggly won’t win you any points when you get home.
Take It to the LimitHow much bullying you can do in the bedroom depends on how much she trusts you. (Right off the bat, that means rough stuff is best suited to couples—not drunken strangers in the bathroom at a wedding reception. Got it?) Before moving straight to bareknuckle boxing, it’s best to test the physical waters with a few lighter moves, like spanking and hair-pulling. Lisa, a 28-year-old yoga teacher, says she likes having her ass smacked “not so hard that it leaves a handprint, but hard enough that it stings a little.” The worst possible offense? A light, apologetic pat. “I once had a guy tap my ass cheek like he was absent-mindedly keeping the beat to a song on his steering wheel,” says Marlene, a 26-year-old engineer. “If you’re gonna do it, for the love of God, go for it.”Similarly, most women said a nice, firm tug on their hair drove them wild instantly. “My boyfriend does it when I’m giving him head or when he’s doing me from behind,” says Jess, a 29-year-old bartender. “It makes me feel like a porn star.” One caveat: It’s best to pull closer to the base of her head than to yank at the ends of her hair—tears of pain are not the goal. Most women said they loved when a guy did whatever he could to get to them—and into them—as quickly as possible. That means not taking the time to seductively undo every last button on her blouse. Instead, screw like zombies have taken over the planet and you two are humankind’s last chance for survival. Yank things up, pull them down—and if you hit any roadblocks, just go right through. “There’s nothing that kills a mood faster than having a guy struggle to get my pants off, apologizing and giggling like a seventh grader,” says Alicia, a 30-year-old photographer. “Just pull my bra down, don’t even bother taking it off. Push my panties aside. It’s kind of awesome having sex with some clothes on—except for socks.” And when you get to the penetration part, don’t be precious about it. The manly move that was almost universally cited as the biggest turn-on was a rigorous jackhammering. “I need to just be grabbed and fucked really hard to get off,” says Katie, a 26-year-old pharmaceutical rep. “Some girls like gentle lovemaking, where the guy enters really slowly and moves rhythmically, but it’s not for me.” Joanna, a 27-year-old banker, agrees: “I enjoy foreplay, but if I’m really horny, it can actually be distracting.” Once in a while, we all like an old-fashioned pounding, where you’re moving at speeds usually reserved for German porn. But if she lets out any version of “ow” instead of “oh,” make sure she’s OK. Remember, you’re in your bedroom, not Herr Dieter’s House of Pain. Game Over Warning! There are a couple of moves that can bring an intense, no-holds-barred encounter to a screeching halt. Under no circumstances during rough sex may you “surprise” her by suddenly coming in through the back door. And when it comes to bondage, anything beyond tying her hands to the headboard with a scarf could be construed as hostage-taking. Lastly, asphyxiation is a huge no-no—unless manslaughter is also on your agenda. With the exception of those off-limits acts, the bedroom is your castle, and you’re the king. So it’s time to man up. Watch Burt Reynolds movies. Stop plucking your eyebrows. Do whatever it takes to remind yourself that women are drawn to all the things that make you different from us—your animal strength, your monosyllabic grunting, your charming caveman-ness. If you want us, just take off our skirts—and yours—and go for it!
